Rock Paper Scissors

My friend Beth had sent me this little blurb, that she herself had taken from another friend. I’m not sure who wrote this yet so I can’t credit this to anyone. It’s just a bit of Insight into the game we all know and love, the bet settler, “Rock Paper Scissors”.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there’s no [expletive deleted] way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically “wrap around” Rock, leaving it immobile? Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody, a rock would tear that [expletive deleted] up in about 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors I always choose rock.Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh , I’m sorry I thought paper would protect you, you [expletive deleted].