Star Wars iii Review

I got to see Star Wars III the other day with my good friend Laboss and my cousin Lalith. We were able to see the film a little early through my mother, whose company handed out sneak preview tickets to each employee; I guess received as a reflected incentive for Hasbro’s commercial partnership with Lucas Studios in creating all sorts of neat little figurines like the uber-cute Mr. Potato head Darth Vader, and plush, verdant, Yoda dolls that also cute they are. Anyway, I’m going to seize this opportunity to throw my two cents at this movie.

Let me start be mentioning the obvious. The original Star Wars IV, V, and VI, were absolutely brilliant. And although they didn’t have the hi-tech CGI luster that the new I, II, and III have, the script was so solid and engaging, that were it performed in the globe theater with little more than pine floors and a dozen oddly placed load-bearing columns, the story itself would have stood ground.

But, I’m afraid, I can’t say the same about these recent 3 Star Wars films. The effects were dazzling, and I dare say, “too” dazzling, but it was completely lacking in story. If you were to consolidate the fight scenes in this last move, part III, which looked so rehearsed and were so onerous to watch, it would easily take up a little less than half the run-time of the entire movie. As for the story, it was predictable. Most of the fighting involved either Obi Wan Kenobi or Anakin Skywalker. And every fight scene with Obi Wan, I knew would leave Obi Wan the victor, seeing how he has to make an appearance in Star Wars IV. Every Fight scene with Anakin Skywalker, I knew, would leave Anakin the victor, again for the same reason. The love scenes with Anakin and Padme made me want to vomit. Hayden Christiansen for the most part had a frightful performance. And, the movie’s dialogue was just plain bad.

Futhermore, all the screens were too brilliantly rendered with computer graphics that it made every scene seem more like concept drawings, rather than a palpable reality. Also, is there really a need to preface every Star Wars film with the most complicated of short narratives? Maybe it’s just me, but I find the introductory scrolling yellow text to be a little too complicated a story to be planting in the beginning of a film— especially when you have only a few seconds to read it. Okay: so the separatist movement of the republic has lost momentum in the unanimous confirmation of the senators to deter Chancellor Palatine’s movement to commend the release… boy it’s tedious to read.

I know what I like in Science Fiction, and these last 3 Star War’s films were not it. I found all the little quips extremely corny and irritating. The fighting was a complete bore. The story was completely predictable and lacking. In Short, this film gets my two thumbs down disapproval.

Oscar Night

Normally, I could care less about the Oscars, or any of these celebrity award shows for that matter; I figure I’d reserve that for the daytime pink hair-curler wearing, soap-opera watching, Nat’l enquirer fans, that usually have these events circled on their TV-guides. But, this year I made an exception. I was lured in by the hype that Chris Rock was hosting it–and I LOVE Chris Rock.

But, much to my dismay, I found the whole thing painfully boring. Rock wasn’t as funny as usual. Beyonce sang two songs, one song in French, which I played off as though it were a commercial, and went to the kitchen to make myself a snack. The other song was with a piano accompaniment by Andrew Loyd Webber, again.. another commercial. The actors gave their predicable speeches, thanking everyone they’ve ever met in their life, and a list of other names that are new and that people pay no attention to.

Ultimately, I turned it off at around 10 or so, coming to the realization that this is not entertainment; this is an award show. The only people that watch televised award ceremonies, are people in it, and usually the parents of people in it. And I am neither.