Star Wars iii Review

I got to see Star Wars III the other day with my good friend Laboss and my cousin Lalith. We were able to see the film a little early through my mother, whose company handed out sneak preview tickets to each employee; I guess received as a reflected incentive for Hasbro’s commercial partnership with Lucas Studios in creating all sorts of neat little figurines like the uber-cute Mr. Potato head Darth Vader, and plush, verdant, Yoda dolls that also cute they are. Anyway, I’m going to seize this opportunity to throw my two cents at this movie.

Let me start be mentioning the obvious. The original Star Wars IV, V, and VI, were absolutely brilliant. And although they didn’t have the hi-tech CGI luster that the new I, II, and III have, the script was so solid and engaging, that were it performed in the globe theater with little more than pine floors and a dozen oddly placed load-bearing columns, the story itself would have stood ground.

But, I’m afraid, I can’t say the same about these recent 3 Star Wars films. The effects were dazzling, and I dare say, “too” dazzling, but it was completely lacking in story. If you were to consolidate the fight scenes in this last move, part III, which looked so rehearsed and were so onerous to watch, it would easily take up a little less than half the run-time of the entire movie. As for the story, it was predictable. Most of the fighting involved either Obi Wan Kenobi or Anakin Skywalker. And every fight scene with Obi Wan, I knew would leave Obi Wan the victor, seeing how he has to make an appearance in Star Wars IV. Every Fight scene with Anakin Skywalker, I knew, would leave Anakin the victor, again for the same reason. The love scenes with Anakin and Padme made me want to vomit. Hayden Christiansen for the most part had a frightful performance. And, the movie’s dialogue was just plain bad.

Futhermore, all the screens were too brilliantly rendered with computer graphics that it made every scene seem more like concept drawings, rather than a palpable reality. Also, is there really a need to preface every Star Wars film with the most complicated of short narratives? Maybe it’s just me, but I find the introductory scrolling yellow text to be a little too complicated a story to be planting in the beginning of a film— especially when you have only a few seconds to read it. Okay: so the separatist movement of the republic has lost momentum in the unanimous confirmation of the senators to deter Chancellor Palatine’s movement to commend the release… boy it’s tedious to read.

I know what I like in Science Fiction, and these last 3 Star War’s films were not it. I found all the little quips extremely corny and irritating. The fighting was a complete bore. The story was completely predictable and lacking. In Short, this film gets my two thumbs down disapproval.

4 thoughts on “Star Wars iii Review”

  1. So, I’m no Trecky or whatever you Star Wars watchers call yourselves but I have to say it seem quite odd that you claim you dislike Episode I and II yet continue to waste your time and watch Episode III. My thoughts are that you secretly enjoyed Episodes I, II and III but refuse to admit it in an attempt to write something interesting on your website.

  2. lol,
    To be completly honest, I was really hoping to like episode III. I figured, maybe, jusssst may-be, Lucas will redeem himself, and god-honest, i was completly cheering for him.

    Maybe my expectations were too high? I dunno.. but i definitly wouldn’t want to see that movie again.

  3. All the Star Wars are amzing and if you didn’t like Episode I and II and if you already know whats going to happen then why did you even go and see Episode III?

  4. ANAKIN: You look so beautiful.
    PADME: That’s because I’m in love with you.
    ANAKIN: No, it’s because I’m in love with you.
    PADME: No, it’s because I’m in love with you.
    ANAKIN: No, no, I’m in love with you.
    PADME: Ok’y fine shmopie!
    ANAKIN: You’re shmopie!
    PADME: No, you’re shmopie!
    (Eskimo Kiss)

    Move over Hemmingway!

    Best Star Wars review I’ve seen yet :

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