The Cellphone Anathema

I thought of a neat little device for a cell phone. I call it the “People Scanner”. It works like this: it will be a built in device that will detect if there is more than one person around the cell phone. And in the event that the reading comes out positive, the phone will not ring for an incoming call, but instead direct the caller immediately to a voicemail.

I think this device would be really great. I also think I’m really great for coming up with it.

Cell phones have become a problem. It wasn’t so bad during the Zack Morris day of those large gray dumbbell-size phones. Back then, air charges were like 20$ a minute so your were limited to just using it for an emergency. But now, minutes are practically free, they number in the thousands, and they rollover and play dead, and do all sorts of stupid little tricks.

But we can’t just get rid of the phones. Nope. That would be impossible. Ever try to forcibly take back a toy you gave to a little toddler? It’s not a pretty site.

So cell phones can’t be removed, per se; we have to stick to other options. This may be one of those times when we have to just fight technology with technology. The Russians got a bow and arrow, someone please roll out that cannon. They upgrade to the Gattling gun, our engineers come out with air-to-ground laser guided missiles. They counter with the nuclear warhead, we tap our brightest researchers to come out with some good ol’ Ebola and some Super-Tiny Pox.

So for the Cell-phone problem, we may need to fight it with technology. But don’t turn those keys just yet, there may be a less nuclear solution. If the People Scanners are impractical, what about stationary jamming signals set up in those tight public spots were the true misanthropes of society lurk and bring their insipid conversations. The train-cars, the busses, the waiting rooms, the grocery stores, the classrooms, the ballgames, the MOVIE THEATERS, the outside, the inside, everywhere! should have installed Jamming signals, or EMP pulses– so what if your heart defibrillator stops working, at least you’ll die NOT knowing where the idiot next to you is meeting his friends for dinner.