Mid Terms

Ahh… the drudgery of student life is beginning to reach its peak. The syllabus comes out from hibernation; plastic seals are torn off new textbooks, recreational beverages are sipped instead of funneled. Yes, mid-terms are upon us. It will be a grim and gloomy two weeks.

Presidential Debates round II

“Ladies and Gentelman, what he said is just not true” -Kerry

“I own a timber company? Need some wood?” – Bush (Dubya)

At this point in the race, with this level of acrimony between our contenders, I’m sorry, but you can not solely rely on content . I was reading an article on Saturday’s journal that bulleted all the content that each opponent used to bolster his position, and then compared this against what in fact is true, and lets just say, you would be shocked at the results. When Bush says ‘98%’ of small business will lose out on Kerry’s plan, his definition of ‘small business’ is so loose that it even covers the 15 year old kid that shovels your driveway every winter. However, the format of these debates leaves your opponent with little if any time to set the record straight.

When Dubya (W) says we increased the child tax credit up 1000$ common sense will interpret this phrase as whatever the current child tax credit is, 1000$ has been added to it but it also increased the corporation tax. However that’s not what he meant, he means that the credit was once 500$ and is now 1000$, an increase of 500$. Sure this is a small example, but candidates will twist anything to sound better than it really is. So when Dubya’s ratings took a dip after the first debate and the conservative media is pissed off that the rest of us are more focused on oratory style, poise, and who “looks more like a president”, you can’t blame us for doing it. If we were to actually listen to what our candidates have to say, you would have absolutely no clue who to vote for.

Now, Doesn’t Kerry look more like a president to you?

Bush Phone
image from www.youforgotpoland.com

The Debates

Kerry vs Bush

K vs B




Wow. To anyone that saw the presidential debate last week and is still considering voting for George Bush next month, I have one question for you: What are you a moron?!

Suffice it to say, Round 1 went to Kerry. Kerry punctuated the evening with an (al-yu-kan) uppercut to the jaw that hurled Bush half-across the room.

I think I have the clip�


Gmail Invites

Envious that all the cool people have gmail accounts and you dont? Wish someone would invite your sorry ass? … well, I have a few gmail invites, comment with your email address and ill send one your way, free of charge.

Derick, why all the philanthropy? I guess I’m just a nice guy, what can I say.

Pentagon Conspiracy?

I saw this link on a friend of mine’s AIM profile. It’s another political conspiracy theory-ish website, in the form of a short flash movie. It’s kind of interesting. I am however, very skeptical in buying into stuff like this so readily, but I do feel it’s important to share with others when discrepancies arise that may need answering.

So.. what are you waiting for? Go watch it

Now that you’ve seen it, what do you think? Is it just mere factual inconsistencies that have been extrapolated to utter nonsense? Or rather, reconfirmation in your long-held contention that the Government is quote “evil”, who is even now maniacally plotting how it can future enslave its capitalistic drones. I invite your comments!

(I wonder how many feds are going to visit this site now– now that I’ve titled this post as “pentagon conspiracy”)

Tears of an IT guy

Nowadays, the only people regurgitating those tired cliches about technology are people that don’t know anything about it. What cliches? You know, Technology is changing our lives, Computers will soon be a necessary appliance, in every home. Etc.. etc.. (vomit?) etc. These cliches may have been appropriate 20 years ago, but now, I’m sorry, there are no longer prophetic of something to come, it is already a reality and most of us have already adapted to it.

These same people are the ones that think it’s pretty nifty to send a 4mb picture attachment of their new baby niece to everyone at work. Where is the vacillation, the necessary hesitation, before filling the to field with EVERYONE. What are you doing to me? And is it really necessary to decorate your email with these rank, barely-supported, Outlook Themes. And please, chain letters? What are we 12?

You know, I think I’m turning into a cliche myself. The pompous IT guy– the know it all, who uses soap-boxes for shoes. Maybe I already am this guy. But at least I know the cause.

Monthly Misogyny (joking)

A sign in a Bank Lobby reads:

“Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.”

*After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.


1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.


1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Retrieve cash and receipt.
15. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
16. Write deposit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
17. Drive forward 2 feet.
18. Reverse back to cash machine.
19. Retrieve card.
20. Redial person on cell phone.
21. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
22. Release Parking Brake.

December… naah, how about May?

A quick glance at the wall clock reminds me that I’m running late again. I start to accelerate the pace of my morning routine. I’m Just about ready to leave, and then prompts the question: cereal or no cereal ? I chose cereal. I shovel the entire helping in about 5-6 spoons. After, I slide my feet into my slippers say a barely audible and rushed ‘bye’ to my Grandma and start to head to my Taurus. A bunch of white envelops protruding out of my mailbox side-tracks me for a second. Mail already? A cursory shuffling reveals there are no letters for me, save one, stamped with a cornflower blue URI boilerplate. I put the rest of the letters back in the box (someone will eventually get them) and take the URI letter with me into the car. On a more thorough analysis, it seems the letter is from the Office of the Dean, so I tear it open. I am expecting confirmation of my December Graduation from the Dean. Instead, I find a highlighted reminder that I am still missing two courses in order to satisfy my Gen-Ed requirements.

I would later find out that the College of Engineering and the College of Arts and Sciences (the college I had to transfer into for my Major change–computer engineering to computer science) have slightly different Gen-Ed requirements, a big enough difference to postpone my graduation another semester. Wow.. first the fly, now this. It is certainly not my week.

QOD : Paranoid schizophrenics outnumber their enemies at least two to one.