Death by Syndication

So, if you’re looking for a website that is seldom updated, brutally turquoise, with an ungainly appearance, and run by the world’s laziest Sri Lankan, Welcome!

I try to stay on top of things, do my homework, read my book, put a post or two on my website, but I just can’t do it as long as Seinfeld reruns are being aired 4 times a day on TV. I’m hoping when they finally release all 9 Seasons of it on DVD, I won’t feel as compelled to watch them, and thereby, get my life back.

The thing is, there are 2 episodes of Seinfeld I still haven’t seen. And It’s this desperate hope, that one day these two episodes will re-air on TV is what keeps me watching. They have become my white whale.

Sad isn’t it?

The Stall:

While in a bathroom stall, Elaine needs some toilet paper, but the woman in the next stall refuses to give her a piece. The woman is Jerry’s girlfriend whose voice Kramer recognizes from a telephone sex line. Elaine’s boyfriend, whose face she just loves, takes George & Kramer rock climbing. After his accident, Elaine isn’t sure his face will be the same.

The Chaperone:

Jerry gets a date with Miss Rhode Island, a Miss America contestant; when they need a chaperone Kramer is available. On the date, Kramer gives her advice and becomes her personal coach. Elaine tries to get a job at Doubleday, filling in the shoes once filled by Jackie Onassis; instead she gets a job being the personal assistant of a top executive who likes white socks. Meanwhile, George decides that the Yankees need to change their uniforms from polyester to cotton.