Author Archive for derick

Oscar Night

Published
by
derick
on 2/28/2005
in movies
. 4 Comments

Normally, I could care less about the Oscars, or any of these celebrity award shows for that matter; I figure I’d reserve that for the daytime pink hair-curler wearing, soap-opera watching, Nat’l enquirer fans, that usually have these events circled on their TV-guides. But, this year I made an exception. I was lured in by the hype that Chris Rock was hosting it–and I LOVE Chris Rock.

But, much to my dismay, I found the whole thing painfully boring. Rock wasn’t as funny as usual. Beyonce sang two songs, one song in French, which I played off as though it were a commercial, and went to the kitchen to make myself a snack. The other song was with a piano accompaniment by Andrew Loyd Webber, again.. another commercial. The actors gave their predicable speeches, thanking everyone they’ve ever met in their life, and a list of other names that are new and that people pay no attention to.

Ultimately, I turned it off at around 10 or so, coming to the realization that this is not entertainment; this is an award show. The only people that watch televised award ceremonies, are people in it, and usually the parents of people in it. And I am neither.

Smoked Beer?

Published
by
derick
on 2/28/2005
in minutiae
. 0 Comments

It is a historic moment in Rhode Island.

Never again, upon entering a restaurant, will you hear the question “Smoking or Non-smoking?”. I have always found it particularly disgusting that someone would want to eat while smoking. But hey, that’s their prerogative– or was.

I am very excited about this new law which makes it illegal to smoke in public places. I remember times going to a local place in East Providence called Red Bridge Tavern, and having to leave my jacket or sweater in the car, bracing the weather, and enter into the establishment wearing only the bare-minimum. If I didn’t do this, when I left that place at night, my clothes would be coated with that awful stench of cigarettes, which I can only get off my sweaters by dry cleaning. And I don’t wash sweaters and fleeces after every use, so wearing them out at smoke-deluged places would really put a wrench in my whole wardrobe cycle by having to take them temproarily out of commision.

There is a lot of oppistion to this new law, which has been expressed completly last minute, and mostly from small buissness’s under the notion that this law would criple their business. Ah, well, I’m happy.

Hate it. Love it.

Published
by
derick
on 2/22/2005
in books
. 4 Comments

Anyone that knows me, knows I’m very picky with what I read. Reading a sizeable novel–especially at my pace–takes a while, and I have to be absolutely certain I will like a book before I’m willing to commit to it.

I was making a book order on Amazon.com this weekend– really just plucking out some books from my wish list. I took down:

  • The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho
  • The Brothers Karamazov, by Fyodor Dostoevsky

    • Then after clicking my way to the cart, Amazon informed me that if I were to add just a measly 3.35$ to my total order, I would be eligible for free shipping. So it’s either I find something that costs 3.35$ and get the shipping free or dish out an extra 4.25$ . Clearly, the reasonable thing to do was add something else to the cart. So I looked. The only thing I wanted that comes close to reaching my 3.35$ is a 6$ paperback Star Trek novel (yes I said “Star Trek”; I can almost hear the shudders of disgust, and the nods of disapproval).

    So the search for a good Star Trek novel began, and after some searching through the lists, I came across Cardassia and Andor (Worlds of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Vol. 1); It screamed “Buy Me”. And being the nervously uncertain guy that I am, and easily persuaded by the voice of public opinion, I read the reader reviews that followed:

    5 stars The Cardassia story is excellent., July 30, 2004 …

    4 stars Andorian fans should love this!, May 25, 2004 …

    2 star Boring…, February 15, 2005

    1 star I was disappointed, November 6, 2004

    As you can see, the reviews did little but exacerbate my petty decisioning dilemma.

    It comes to show, what one person loves, another despises. One person’s junk, another’s treasure. I put so much weight on the opinion of others when making a decision, and in reality, opinions are so conflicting, so biased, so inconclusive, that sometimes… they can be almost meaningless.

    Finals, how exciting!

    Published
    by
    derick
    on 12/21/2004
    in derick related
    . 1 Comment

    There’s nothing like the solidarity of students that know they’re going to fail a final.

    During the few dwindling hours before my CSC final, a group of us gathered around the couches in the library and desperatly went over some looseleaf handouts and some badly taken, not to mention, hopelessly incomplete, notes from class. But surpringly ( when two or three are gathered), I think I may have learned more in that 2 hour study symposium, then I did all semester.

    Well test-time arrived, I scrawled a few formulas on my palm (i need a bigger palm), and well… I think I got enough ink down to pass. Here’s hoping :-/

    Gmail Invites

    Published
    by
    derick
    on 9/30/2004
    in geeky
    . 2 Comments

    Envious that all the cool people have gmail accounts and you dont? Wish someone would invite your sorry ass? … well, I have a few gmail invites, comment with your email address and ill send one your way, free of charge.

    Derick, why all the philanthropy? I guess I’m just a nice guy, what can I say.

    Pentagon Conspiracy?

    Published
    by
    derick
    on 9/30/2004
    in politika
    . 0 Comments

    I saw this link on a friend of mine’s AIM profile. It’s another political conspiracy theory-ish website, in the form of a short flash movie. It’s kind of interesting. I am however, very skeptical in buying into stuff like this so readily, but I do feel it’s important to share with others when discrepancies arise that may need answering.

    So.. what are you waiting for? Go watch it

    Now that you’ve seen it, what do you think? Is it just mere factual inconsistencies that have been extrapolated to utter nonsense? Or rather, reconfirmation in your long-held contention that the Government is quote evil, who is even now maniacally plotting how it can future enslave its capitalistic drones. I invite your comments!

    (I wonder how many feds are going to visit this site now– now that Ive titled this post as pentagon conspiracy)

    A Tether Made of Flesh and Bones

    Published
    by
    derick
    on 9/26/2004
    in minutiae
    . 0 Comments

    Man’s greatest deterrent to attaining his most prodigious goals is lassitude– the weighty anchor of our mortal coil. If we can overcome the slothfulness of the flesh, we can overcome anything.

    Monthly Misogyny (joking)

    Published
    by
    derick
    on 9/24/2004
    in minutiae
    . 2 Comments

    A sign in a Bank Lobby reads:

    “Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.”

    *After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

    MALE PROCEDURE

    1. Drive up to the cash machine.
    2. Put down your car window.
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
    6. Put window up.
    7. Drive off.

    FEMALE PROCEDURE

    1. Drive up to cash machine.
    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
    8. Insert card.
    9. Re-insert card the right way.
    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
    11. Enter PIN.
    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
    13. Enter amount of cash required.
    14. Retrieve cash and receipt.
    15. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
    16. Write deposit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
    17. Drive forward 2 feet.
    18. Reverse back to cash machine.
    19. Retrieve card.
    20. Redial person on cell phone.
    21. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
    22. Release Parking Brake.

    December… naah, how about May?

    Published
    by
    derick
    on 9/24/2004
    in minutiae
    . 1 Comment

    A quick glance at the wall clock reminds me that I’m running late again. I start to accelerate the pace of my morning routine. I’m Just about ready to leave, and then prompts the question: cereal or no cereal ? I chose cereal. I shovel the entire helping in about 5-6 spoons. After, I slide my feet into my slippers say a barely audible and rushed ‘bye’ to my Grandma and start to head to my Taurus. A bunch of white envelops protruding out of my mailbox side-tracks me for a second. Mail already? A cursory shuffling reveals there are no letters for me, save one, stamped with a cornflower blue URI boilerplate. I put the rest of the letters back in the box (someone will eventually get them) and take the URI letter with me into the car. On a more thorough analysis, it seems the letter is from the Office of the Dean, so I tear it open. I am expecting confirmation of my December Graduation from the Dean. Instead, I find a highlighted reminder that I am still missing two courses in order to satisfy my Gen-Ed requirements.

    I would later find out that the College of Engineering and the College of Arts and Sciences (the college I had to transfer into for my Major change–computer engineering to computer science) have slightly different Gen-Ed requirements, a big enough difference to postpone my graduation another semester. Wow.. first the fly, now this. It is certainly not my week.

    QOD : Paranoid schizophrenics outnumber their enemies at least two to one.

    Mini Diatribe on Flys

    Published
    by
    derick
    on 9/22/2004
    in minutiae
    . 1 Comment

    I hate insects’especially flys. What irks me the most about flys is the excruciating Doppler effect from it zipping inches away from your ear, over and over again. There was a damn fly in my room today. I almost broke my ceiling fan as I took a careless swing at it with a T-Shirt. The fan’s chain swung over and wrapped around the moving blades; it wasn’t pretty. Learning from experience, I then turned off the ceiling fan and after another futile swing from the T-shirt, I proceeded to smash a light bulb on the ceiling fan fixture. Man I feel like such a tool. I hate Flys.